Quotes from the Movie Dan in Real Life

What we have is true love. Just because you don't have it doesn't mean you have to punish us for it!

Cara

You don't even understand that you don't understand!

Cara

Very good column, sir. The last bit about curfew is very apt. May I also say that yesterday's column on boundary setting was excellent.

Marty

I'm Marty Burasco. Anyway, I would like to especially thank you for last friday's column. It really helped me understand my parents. Dan: [laughs] Okay. Well, Marty, what else can I do for you?

Marty

No, I'm....It's just that...[speaks spanish]. Love is not a feeling, it's an ability.

Marty

You're a good father, but sometimes bad dad.

Lily

I made it up myself. I'm in the 4th grade. I can make things up for myself.

Lily

I made it up myself! I can think for myself!

Lily

Something funny might be nice. But not something necessarily big, hahaha, laugh out loud funny, and certainly not-make-fun-of-other-people funny, but certainly something human funny. And uh, if it could um, sneak up on you, surprise you, and at the same time make you think that what you thought was only right in a wrong kind of way, and when you're wrong, there's a certain rightness to your wrongness. Well, maybe, what I mean is, more importantly, I'm looking to be swept up. And, at the same time, not. Meaning I want to feel a deep connection to something. Or maybe, I don't know what I'm looking for.

Marie

So you're telling me you're one of those widowers with three daughters who preys on unsuspecting women in bookstores?

Marie

He is, he is. He's fun and uh, funny. He's complicated, but in a good way. Just what I need.

Marie

See, I just got out of a relationship, and Mitch was there.

Marie

Page 92, did I just die because an Angel walked into the room? Page 148, uh, I'll forgive you your past if you'll forgive me mine? It seems all of his best lines were yours! It's unbearable. I can't keep pretending.

Marie

Do you think uh, they've gotta think, you've got the girls, and they're...they're extraordinary. I mean...what?

Marie

That said...she's bright, lovely, adorable, and if you botch this up, we'll keep her and get rid of you.

Mrs. Burns

So a little bird told me you're going to be syndicated.

Mrs. Burns

Come on, you always say that with Suzanne you won the lottery and to try again would feel greedy...But it's been 4 years!

Mrs. Burns

Honey, you know we're worried about you. You know that.

Mrs. Burns

You know, you do so much for your girls, you do so much for all of us. But what are you doing for yourself?

Mrs. Burns

Yes, and you know, there's an explanation for all that weirdness.

Uncle 2

And I just wanted to talk to you: You have got to be WAY backed up, and I just hope that form time to time, you're treating yourself to a little self love.

Uncle 2

I talked to my neurologist about this!

Uncle 2

I don't know if I was being clear before, but you've got to unclog that drain.

Uncle 2

No, no. That is not it. We met Margo Draper's daughter at the farmer's market and she asked all about you.

Mrs. Burns

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