Quotes from the Movie Dodgeball

Alright Kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are.

Peter LaFleur

Dear Barbara.

Peter LaFleur

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.

Peter LaFleur

I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.

Peter LaFleur

You had me at blood and semen.

Peter LaFleur

Oh, hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?

Peter LaFleur

Thank you, Chuck Norris.

Peter LaFleur

Oh, now he's a philosophizer.

White Goodman

Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur!

White Goodman

That's me. Six years and six-hundred pounds ago.

White Goodman

Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.

White Goodman

It's a metaphor. But that actually happened.

White Goodman

Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.

White Goodman

It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason, Kate. The hippies finally got something right. I'm just kidding. But not really.

White Goodman

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!

White Goodman

I have shareholders. You haven't even got... cupholders!

White Goodman

Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker!

White Goodman

I earned this body. I built this temple, with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little "can-do" attitude. And yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.

White Goodman

Here at Globo Gym, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! And we know it!

White Goodman

Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.

White Goodman

Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!

White Goodman

Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.

White Goodman

And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken "Fine".

White Goodman

I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except, perhaps, in the movies, but let me show you something that gets lost, in the translation.

White Goodman

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