Alright Kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are.
I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.
I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.
You had me at blood and semen.
Oh, hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
Thank you, Chuck Norris.
Oh, now he's a philosophizer.
Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur!
That's me. Six years and six-hundred pounds ago.
Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
It's a metaphor. But that actually happened.
Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.
It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason, Kate. The hippies finally got something right. I'm just kidding. But not really.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!
I have shareholders. You haven't even got... cupholders!
Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker!
I earned this body. I built this temple, with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little "can-do" attitude. And yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.
Here at Globo Gym, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! And we know it!
Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.
Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!
Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.
And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken "Fine".
I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except, perhaps, in the movies, but let me show you something that gets lost, in the translation.
Turn it up, Reggie, I wanna burn.