This page contains quotes from the movie Dodgeball . You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Dodgeball
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Alright Kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are.
Peter LaFleur


Dear Barbara.
Peter LaFleur


I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.
Peter LaFleur


I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.
Peter LaFleur


You had me at blood and semen.
Peter LaFleur


Oh, hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
Peter LaFleur


Thank you, Chuck Norris.
Peter LaFleur


Oh, now he's a philosophizer.
White Goodman


Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur!
White Goodman


That's me. Six years and six-hundred pounds ago.
White Goodman


Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
White Goodman


It's a metaphor. But that actually happened.
White Goodman


Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.
White Goodman


It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason, Kate. The hippies finally got something right. I'm just kidding. But not really.
White Goodman


Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!
White Goodman


I have shareholders. You haven't even got... cupholders!
White Goodman


Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker!
White Goodman


I earned this body. I built this temple, with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little "can-do" attitude. And yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.
White Goodman


Here at Globo Gym, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! And we know it!
White Goodman


Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.
White Goodman


Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!
White Goodman


Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.
White Goodman


And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken "Fine".
White Goodman


I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except, perhaps, in the movies, but let me show you something that gets lost, in the translation.
White Goodman


Turn it up, Reggie, I wanna burn.
White Goodman