This page contains quotes from the movie Dodgeball. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Dodgeball
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Alright Kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


Dear Barbara.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


You had me at blood and semen.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


Oh, hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
send an e card Peter LaFleur


Thank you, Chuck Norris.
send an e card Peter LaFleur


Oh, now he's a philosophizer.
send an e card White Goodman


Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur!
send an e card White Goodman


That's me. Six years and six-hundred pounds ago.
send an e card White Goodman


Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
send an e card White Goodman


It's a metaphor. But that actually happened.
send an e card White Goodman


Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.
send an e card White Goodman


It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason, Kate. The hippies finally got something right. I'm just kidding. But not really.
send an e card White Goodman


Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!
send an e card White Goodman


I have shareholders. You haven't even got... cupholders!
send an e card White Goodman


Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker!
send an e card White Goodman


I earned this body. I built this temple, with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little "can-do" attitude. And yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman.
send an e card White Goodman


Here at Globo Gym, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! And we know it!
send an e card White Goodman


Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.
send an e card White Goodman


Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!
send an e card White Goodman


Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.
send an e card White Goodman


And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken "Fine".
send an e card White Goodman


I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except, perhaps, in the movies, but let me show you something that gets lost, in the translation.
send an e card White Goodman


Turn it up, Reggie, I wanna burn.
send an e card White Goodman


You're out, Four-Eyes!
send an e card White Goodman


I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.
send an e card White Goodman


We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will rock you!
send an e card White Goodman


I'm Patches O'Houlihan, and I'm your new coach!
send an e card Patches O'Houlihan


If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!
send an e card Patches O\\\'Houlihan


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