This page contains quotes from the movie Dodgeball. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Dodgeball
 1
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
send an e card Patches O\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'Houlihan


Just remember the five D's of dodgeball: "Dodge", "Duck", "Dip", "Dive", and..."Dodge".
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Line up Ladies!!
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Son, you're about as useful as a poopie-flavoured lollipop!
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Oh my sweet dick, it's magic.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


I ain't crazy, and I ain't a guy!
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Take care of your balls and they'll take care of you.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


If you want dodgeball victory you gotta grab it by its haunches and h..h..hump it into submission, that's the only way.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


Remember, dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation. So, when you're picking players in gym class, remember to pick the bigger, stronger players for your team. That way you can gang up on the weaker ones, like Winston here.
send an e card Patches O Houlihan


They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.
send an e card Pepper


I feel like I'm watching a Cher video, Cotton.
send an e card Pepper


Effin A, Cotton. Effin AAAAAAA!
send an e card Pepper


Pepper needs new shorts!
send an e card Pepper


I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.
send an e card Pepper


That'll buy you one heck of a pumpkin, Cotton!
send an e card Pepper


I don't know how they can play in diapers, Cotton, I never could!
send an e card Pepper


I feel shocked!
send an e card Pepper


We're gonna get our tinks handed to us, that's what!
send an e card Dwight


And they got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Taser, and all kinds of "asers"!
send an e card Dwight


That guy's a dickhead.
send an e card Dwight


We could sell blood and semen.
send an e card Dwight


Bollocks!
send an e card Steve the Pirate


Gar this sucks!!
send an e card Steve the Pirate


Steve's gotta go drain the sea monster...
send an e card Steve the Pirate


I'm gonna send ya to hell!!!
send an e card Steve the Pirate


Guy in Truck to Steve the Pirate: Go back to Treasure Island!!! Fag!!! Screw you!!!
send an e card Other


Hey, honey!
send an e card Gordon


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