Quotes from the Movie Dogma

It doesn't really take a muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets.

Serendipity

The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined.

Serendipity

I have issues with anyone who treats God like a burden instead of a blessing, like some Catholics. You people don't celebrate your faith. You mourn it.

Serendipity

Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta wake up!

Serendipity

So you were an artist. Big deal! Elvis was an artist, but that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. That's why he's "the King"... and you're a schmuck.

Serendipity

No ticket.

Silent Bob

People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey.

Cardinal Glick

Christ didn't come to earth to give us the willies! He came to help us out. He was a booster.

Cardinal Glick

With a papal sanction, the archway entrance of the century-old Jersey shore house of worship will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence a little-known Catholic belief which offers all that passes through its arches a morally clean slate.

Grant Hicks

Holy shit, it's the Pope!

Liz

We call this piece the 'Fecalator'. One look at it and the target shits him- or herself. Try it on.

Gun store guy

We call this piece the 'Fecalator'. One look at it and the target shits him- or herself. Try it on.

Gun store guy

I knew I's gonna whack somebody today! REPRESENT!

Gang leader

I suggest you not underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State, and show up two hours in advance.

Ticket agent

I repeat: this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion.

PA Announcer

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