Quotes from the Movie Dogma

You know, Christ told me the secret to the Resurrection once. We were at this wedding in Canaan, right? And I-I got drunk and forgot it.

Rufus

Hey, man, back in the old days with J.C., we used to walk everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle?

Rufus

White folks only wanna hear the good shit life eternal, a place in God's Heaven - but as soon as you hear that you're gettin' all this good shit from a black Savior, you freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.

Rufus

His only real beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in His name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.

Rufus

The nature of God and the Virgin Birth these are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? That's just plain gullibility!

Rufus

The nature of God and the Virgin Birth these are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? That's just plain gullibility!

Rufus

Come on, demon! Let me see you try that shit on somebody who's already dead!

Rufus

Knew him? Shit! Nigga owes me twelve bucks.

Rufus

We were sent from Him who is called "I AM"!

Rufus

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater, than central air.

Azrael

Quit killing people. That's high profile.

Azrael

Have you ever been to Hell, human? I think not.

Azrael

Oh, no! I've seen way too many Bond films to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.

Azrael

He doesn't know how to make a holey bartender. I know how to make a holey bartender.

Azrael

I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob.

Jay

Snoogens! Did you see that shit, man? I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!

Jay

No wonder he saw Jesus. Homey's rockin' the ganj!

Jay

I guess we're in charge of the gang now.

Jay

I didn't cum in you, Pete, I swear.

Jay

Hey, Big Bird! Ready to play the counting game? Count the shells, suck-a-duck!

Jay

Gear?! Like I ever drove before.

Jay

She's a slut. BOOONNNGGG!

Jay

I'm a muse, stupid!

Serendipity

What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things: her legs. But as you can see, I lack definition!

Serendipity

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