This page contains quotes from the movie Dogma. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Dogma
 1
The lesson must be taught. All are accountable... even God.
Bartleby


It's been my experience that the average male is never a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan.
Bethany Sloane


When a quiet little infection destroyed my uterus, where was God? When my husband decided he couldn't be with a wife who couldn't bear his children, where was God? To Hell with Him.
Bethany Sloane


So if we're wrong, what's the right religion?
Bethany Sloane


I'm tired of all this cryptic bullshit. I'm physically and psychologically exhausted, Rufus, and I'm ready to kick back and welcome the end of existence unless you come clean, right now.
Bethany Sloane


I wouldn't want to let the family down, now would I?
Bethany Sloane


Remind me to try that water-to-wine thing at my next party.
Bethany Sloane


I hope you're the skee-ball type.
Bethany Sloane


Behold the Metatron! Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God!
Metatron


Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped. See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. You bottom-feeders and your arrogance... you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers.
Metatron


Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.
Metatron


Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're... talking to themselves.
Metatron


You don't mind that I lost the wings, do you? I'm trying to keep our profile low.
Metatron


Be who you've always been. Just... be this as well, from time to time.
Metatron


Oh, Bartleby. Was Wisconsin really that bad?
Metatron


One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die.
Metatron


You tell someone you're a Metatron, they stare at you blankly. You mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyone is a theology scholar, may I continue uninterrupted?
Metatron


You people! If it hasn't been made into a movie, it's not worth knowing about, is that it? The little stoner's got a point!
Metatron


Anyone that isn't dead or from another plane of existance would do well to cover their ears right about...NOW.
Metatron


To answer that; human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it your mind would cave in and your heart would explode inside your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
Metatron


Oh, did that SUCK!
Rufus


Death is a worry of the living. The dead, like myself, only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.
Rufus


Rufus it is. Usually it's Long Rufus, but, uh, it's a little cold out here. You understand.
Rufus


You know, Christ told me the secret to the Resurrection once. We were at this wedding in Canaan, right? And I-I got drunk and forgot it.
Rufus


Hey, man, back in the old days with J.C., we used to walk everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle?
Rufus