Quotes from the Movie Dogma

You can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus.

Bartleby

This is humanity at its best. Look at them. All that anger, all that mistrust, all that unhappiness... forgotten, for that one perfect moment when they get off the plane.

Bartleby

All that matters is that after all these years, we found a loophole. He can't keep us out anymore. And once we're back in, I'm sure He'll just forgive and forget.

Bartleby

It's dogmatic law. If the church says it's so, God must adhere. This thing has a papal sanction.

Bartleby

How can you even be sure what incurs the Lord's wrath these days? Times change. I remember when eating meat on a Friday was supposed to be a Hell-worthy trespass.

Bartleby

You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the First Commandment. More than that, not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.

Bartleby

After all this time, this is what it comes down to? Slaughter by a meat-puppet.

Bartleby

Guess what? We're going home. No matter whose pride it may hurt.

Bartleby

See, don't. Don't, my friend. Don't let your sympathies get the best of you. They did me, once. Scion or not, she's just a human, and by passing through that arch, our sins are forgiven. No harm, no foul.

Bartleby

Mister McGhee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Bartleby

The lesson must be taught. All are accountable... even God.

Bartleby

It's been my experience that the average male is never a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan.

Bethany Sloane

When a quiet little infection destroyed my uterus, where was God? When my husband decided he couldn't be with a wife who couldn't bear his children, where was God? To Hell with Him.

Bethany Sloane

So if we're wrong, what's the right religion?

Bethany Sloane

I'm tired of all this cryptic bullshit. I'm physically and psychologically exhausted, Rufus, and I'm ready to kick back and welcome the end of existence unless you come clean, right now.

Bethany Sloane