Quotes from the Movie Dogma

Oh, no! I've seen way too many Bond films to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.

Azrael

He doesn't know how to make a holey bartender. I know how to make a holey bartender.

Azrael

I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob.

Jay

Snoogens! Did you see that shit, man? I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!

Jay

No wonder he saw Jesus. Homey's rockin' the ganj!

Jay

I guess we're in charge of the gang now.

Jay

I didn't cum in you, Pete, I swear.

Jay

Hey, Big Bird! Ready to play the counting game? Count the shells, suck-a-duck!

Jay

Gear?! Like I ever drove before.

Jay

She's a slut. BOOONNNGGG!

Jay

I'm a muse, stupid!

Serendipity

What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things: her legs. But as you can see, I lack definition!

Serendipity

It doesn't really take a muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets.

Serendipity

The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined.

Serendipity

I have issues with anyone who treats God like a burden instead of a blessing, like some Catholics. You people don't celebrate your faith. You mourn it.

Serendipity
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