Quotes from the Movie Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

You gonna let that lousy Commie punk vomit all over us like this? No offense, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be?! I mean, he'll see everything! He'll see the big board!

General Buck Turgidson

Gee, I wish we had one of them Doomsday Machines, Stainsey.

General Buck Turgidson

I think we ought to all just bow our heads and give a short prayer of thanks for our deliverance. LORD, we have heard the wings of the Angel of Death fluttering over our heads from the Valley of Fear. You have seen fit to deliver us from the forces of evil...

General Buck Turgidson

I'm beginning to smell a big fat Commie rat. I mean, supposin' Kissof is lyin' about that fourth plane, just lookin' for an excuse to clobber us. I mean, if the spaghetti hits the fan, now we're really in trouble.

General Buck Turgidson

We must be...increasingly on the alert to prevent them from taking over other mineshaft space, in order to breed more prodigiously than we do, thus, knocking us out in superior numbers when we emerge! Mr. President, we must not allow...a mine shaft gap!

General Buck Turgidson

Take a look at the big board! They're gettin' ready to clobber us!

General Buck Turgidson

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!

President Merkin Muffley

Hello? Uh, hello? Hello, Dmitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then, as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine, and - and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The BOMB, Dmitri! The hydrogen bomb! Well now, what happened is, uh, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well, he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little...funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes...to attack your country. Well, let me finish, Dmitri. Let me finish, Dmitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello! Not now, but any time, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly,...you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. [pause] I'm sorry too, Dmitri. I'm very sorry. All right! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are Dmitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All right.

President Merkin Muffley

Dmitri, look, if this report is true and the plane manages to bomb the target, is it...is this going to...is this going to set off the Doomsday Machine? Are you sure? Well, I...I guess you're just gonna have to get that plane, Dmitri. Dmitri, I'm sorry they're jamming your radar and flying so low, but they're trained to do it. You know, it's, it's initiative! Look, Dmitri, you know exactly where they're going and I'm sure your entire air defense can stop a single plane. Listen, I mean, it's not gonna help either one of us if a, if the, if the Doomsday Machine goes off, now is it? Dmi...Dmitri, there's no point in you getting hysterical at a moment like this! Dmitri! Keep your feet on the ground when you're talking, Dmitri...Can I give you just one word of advice, Dmitri? Listen, Dmitri, put everything you've got into those two sectors and you can't miss.

President Merkin Muffley

A moment please, Mr. President.

Dr. Strangelove

My conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent, for reasons which, at this moment, must be all too obvious.

Dr. Strangelove

The technology required is easily within the means of even the smallest nuclear power. It requires only the will to do so.

Dr. Strangelove

It is not only possible - it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision-making process which rules out human meddling, the Doomsday Machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible and convincing.

Dr. Strangelove

Greenhouses can keep plant life, animals can be bred and slaughtered

Dr. Strangelove

Your commie has no regard for human life, not even his own. And for this reason, men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or he may come in strength. He may even come in the uniform of our own troops. But however he comes, we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. In the two years it has been my privilege to be your commanding officer, I have always expected the best from you, and you have never given me anything less than that.

General Jack D. Ripper

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