This page contains quotes from the movie Fletch. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Fletch
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I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
Fletch


Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.
Fletch


Look, defenseless babies!
Fletch


It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.
Fletch


If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an affable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much.
Fletch


You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.
Fletch


...and who would have known that the Vice President knew I was opening the door, but the Secret Service, they just whack blood...
Fletch


For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.
Fletch


Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.
Fletch


I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes.
Fletch


Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass.
Fletch


Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet.
Fletch


Tierra Del Fuego.
Fletch


In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me.
Fletch


Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants...
Fletch


Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.
Fletch


Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry.
Fletch


Thank God. The police.
Fletch


Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... I hate Tommy Lasorda.
Fletch


Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?
Fletch


Love your body, Larry.
Fletch


As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance.
Fletch


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