Quotes from the Movie Fletch

I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.

Fletch

Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.

Fletch

Look, defenseless babies!

Fletch

It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.

Fletch

If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an affable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much.

Fletch

You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

Fletch

...and who would have known that the Vice President knew I was opening the door, but the Secret Service, they just whack blood...

Fletch

For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

Fletch

Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

Fletch

I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes.

Fletch

Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass.

Fletch

Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet.

Fletch

Tierra Del Fuego.

Fletch

In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me.

Fletch

Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants...

Fletch

Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.

Fletch

Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry.

Fletch

Thank God. The police.

Fletch

Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... I hate Tommy Lasorda.

Fletch

Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?

Fletch

Love your body, Larry.

Fletch

As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance.

Fletch

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