All the Whos down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.
The Grinch hated Christmas ˇ the whole Christmas season.
Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right.
But I think that the best reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
YES! DOWN A SIZE AND A HALF!! And this time, I'll keep it off.
You have no messages.
Odd. Better check the outgoing.
"If you so much as utter one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."
Blast this christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.
Suffering snorkel blatz! They're relentless!.
Nice kid, bad judge of charecter.
Santa, What Christmas really about?
Vengeance. I meanÍ presents, I suppose.
Oh, the Who-manity.
It's because I'm green, isn't it?
The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there ˇ and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, Jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing ˇ I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.
I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast.
They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast.
But there's something I just cannot stand in leastÍ
Oh no. I'm speaking in rhyme!
Year after year,
I've put up with it now
I must stop Christmas from coming
But how? I mean-in what way?
The Whos, young and old, would sit down to a Feast,
and they will feast, and they will feast.
Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, blackmail, jury duty...
Then he got an idea. An awful idea.
The Grinch had a wonderful, awful idea.