This page contains quotes from the movie I Heart Huckabees. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie I Heart Huckabees
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Honestly, I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I thought we were talking about petroleum.
Tommy Corn


How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?
Tommy Corn


Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Tommy Corn


Aaah, here he comes! The man poet who banged France's Dark Lady of Philosophy! The parking lot crusader of truth who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.
Tommy Corn


Why are you guys wasting all of your time fighting each other? I mean, come on, seriously. Put the egos aside for a second, guys, please. Deal with the issues, okay. We have a deadly petroleum situation, not to mention -- SHUT UP! SHUT! -- Cystic Fibrosis, civil war in Africa, toxic fish. You have children in your own community who are going to prison. Father Flavin doesn't have the money to help them! Ma'am, listen to me!
Tommy Corn


If this world is temporary, identity is an illusion, then everything is meaningless and it doesn't matter if you use petroleum, and thats got me very confused*
Tommy Corn


'Betrayed' by Albert Markovski. Is it possible for anyone in this world to work together to make it better? I don't think so.
Albert Markovski


Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.
Albert Markovski


I can't go back in there. It's all hating faces that I have to chop up with a machete!
Albert Markovski


We're not in Infinity, we're in the suburbs
Albert Markovski


Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Albert Markovski


I can't believe you guys actually exist.
Albert Markovski


What?! Is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?!
Albert Markovski


Huckabees cornucopia of stuff we all want. But what happened to the gazelles? Were they squashed under the CD department?
Brad Stand


How am I not myself?
Brad Stand


Do I benefit from getting some great P.R. For Huckabees when we need it? Absolutely. But do I care about saving the open spaces? Yes, I do.
Brad Stand


Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.
Brad Stand


Shania cares!
Brad Stand


Why is marriage and kids so important? I mean, there's an overpopulation problem!
Brad Stand


NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE!!!
Brad Stand


Did you see that? Shania knew who I was.
Brad Stand


When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.
Bernard Jaffe


There is no such thing as you or me,
Bernard Jaffe


There is no such thing as you or me, There's no such thing as nothing.
Bernard Jaffe


There is no remainder in the mathematics of Infinity.
Bernard Jaffe