Quotes from the Movie I Heart Huckabees

Honestly, I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I thought we were talking about petroleum.

Tommy Corn

How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?

Tommy Corn

Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?

Tommy Corn

Aaah, here he comes! The man poet who banged France's Dark Lady of Philosophy! The parking lot crusader of truth who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.

Tommy Corn

Why are you guys wasting all of your time fighting each other? I mean, come on, seriously. Put the egos aside for a second, guys, please. Deal with the issues, okay. We have a deadly petroleum situation, not to mention -- SHUT UP! SHUT! -- Cystic Fibrosis, civil war in Africa, toxic fish. You have children in your own community who are going to prison. Father Flavin doesn't have the money to help them! Ma'am, listen to me!

Tommy Corn

If this world is temporary, identity is an illusion, then everything is meaningless and it doesn't matter if you use petroleum, and thats got me very confused*

Tommy Corn

'Betrayed' by Albert Markovski. Is it possible for anyone in this world to work together to make it better? I don't think so.

Albert Markovski

Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.

Albert Markovski

I can't go back in there. It's all hating faces that I have to chop up with a machete!

Albert Markovski

We're not in Infinity, we're in the suburbs

Albert Markovski

Everything is the same, even if it's different.

Albert Markovski

I can't believe you guys actually exist.

Albert Markovski

What?! Is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?!

Albert Markovski

Huckabees cornucopia of stuff we all want. But what happened to the gazelles? Were they squashed under the CD department?

Brad Stand

How am I not myself?

Brad Stand

Do I benefit from getting some great P.R. For Huckabees when we need it? Absolutely. But do I care about saving the open spaces? Yes, I do.

Brad Stand

Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.

Brad Stand

Shania cares!

Brad Stand

Why is marriage and kids so important? I mean, there's an overpopulation problem!

Brad Stand

NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE!!!

Brad Stand

Did you see that? Shania knew who I was.

Brad Stand

When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.

Bernard Jaffe

There is no such thing as you or me,

Bernard Jaffe

There is no such thing as you or me, There's no such thing as nothing.

Bernard Jaffe

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