I need for you to be serious for a second here, okay? I need help.
They're watering crops with a sports drink?
You know things are bad when they're coming to me for answers.
Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
I like money.
There's a shuttle down in the Costco. It'll drop us right by the time machine.
Yeah, I know this place pretty good. I went to law school here.
If I had some money and a room at the White House, I'd be like, "It's mine, all night!"
So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger.
I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.
Chill, Scro, you do a kick ass job and you get a full pardon.
But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner city slang, and various grunts.
Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator had come to replace water virtually everywhere.
After several hours, Joe finally gave up on logic and reason, and simply told the cabinet that he could talk to plants and that they wanted water.
Well, it started off boring and slow, with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: '"Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!"' That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, '"Man, whatever! The guy's guilty as shit! We all know that."' And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation.
I like money.