Quotes from the Movie Idiocracy

I need for you to be serious for a second here, okay? I need help.

Joe Bauers

They're watering crops with a sports drink?

Joe Bauers

You know things are bad when they're coming to me for answers.

Joe Bauers

Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

Joe Bauers

You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?

Rita

I like money.

Frito Pendejo

There's a shuttle down in the Costco. It'll drop us right by the time machine.

Frito Pendejo

Yeah, I know this place pretty good. I went to law school here.

Frito Pendejo

If I had some money and a room at the White House, I'd be like, "It's mine, all night!"

Frito Pendejo

So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger.

President Camacho

I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

President Camacho

Chill, Scro, you do a kick ass job and you get a full pardon.

President Camacho

But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner city slang, and various grunts.

Narrator

Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator had come to replace water virtually everywhere.

Narrator

After several hours, Joe finally gave up on logic and reason, and simply told the cabinet that he could talk to plants and that they wanted water.

Narrator

Well, it started off boring and slow, with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: '"Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!"' That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, '"Man, whatever! The guy's guilty as shit! We all know that."' And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation.

Formica Davis

I like money.

Various

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