What I used to able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life.
You have a drinking problem. Get help!
That is a bad habit. You really need to finish that in the bathroom.
Don't check your bags, they'll just lose them.
This is useless. We just have to walk away like mothers in nursery school.
I found myself writing 'wake up' and 'go to bed' in my day planner as if they are two different events.
Cool! A dictionary! I'm gonna look up blowjob.
There's also that dark side to the nose ring.
I think I'm gonna switch back to briefs.
There's food in the beer!
It looks like a chicken wing or a cheese fry.
I almost wore my goatee tonight. Wouldn't that have been embarrassing?
Oh, I've been to Prague.
Prague... you'll come back a bug...
If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.
How do you make God laugh? Make a plan.
I begged you not to get off Prozac.
I'll tell you the worst part about losing a foot.
Well my brother's gay so... I know!