Quotes from the Movie Knocked Up

It's a girl, buy some pink shit.

Ben Stone

Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

Ben Stone

You don't know who Doc Brown is. He invented the DeLorean.

Ben Stone

If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

Ben Stone

Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.

Ben Stone

Steely Dan can gargle my balls.

Ben Stone

Don't masturbate with a noose. If you do, use a spotter or a teammate.

Jonah

I'm going to murderball you!

Jonah

I went where I went Jason!

Jonah

Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?

Jonah

How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

Jonah

See ya... Scorcese on coke

Jonah

It's the baseball draft honey, I got Matsui!

Pete

There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.

Pete

You look like Babe Ruth's older gay brother. Gabe Ruth.

Pete

You look like a cholo dressed up on Easter.

Pete

Where we're going we don't need roads.

Pete

Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

Pete

I think it's Matisyahu.

Pete

He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

Debbie

You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!

Debbie

She is such a prissy little high school cu... cunt!

Debbie

Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?

Debbie

You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

Jason

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