"And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new PINK, was seriously disturbed!"
"So just because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner, across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's better than some stinky old Vanderbilt."
"He's engaged! She's got the six-carat Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger."
"All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs."
"Thanks for inviting me, girls. This party is super-fun."
"Bend and snap!"
"Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?"
"The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known."
"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't shoot their husbands. They just don't!"
"You know, being a blonde is actually a pretty powerful thing. You hold more cards than you think you do. And I, for one, would like to see you take that power and channel it toward the greater good, you know?"
"Do you think she just woke up one morning and said,'I think I'll go to law school today'?"
"Law school is for people who are boring, and ugly, and... serious. And you, Button, are none of those things." -Elle's father
"I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an IQ of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his 'Brief History of Time'... from my fourth grade paper." -Aaron Mitchell
"So What does this Vivian got that you don't got, three tits?" -Paulette
"Could I have been anymore goddamn spaztic" -Paulette
"If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life... you're not the girl I thought you were." -Professor Stromwell
"Oh my god, the bend and snap! Works every time." -Random Guy in Salon
"I'm takin' the dog. Dumbass!" -Paulette