This page contains quotes from the movie MASH. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie MASH
 1
I like to think of the army as my home!
Hot Lips


Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!
Hot Lips


Oh, Frank, strangle me!
Hot Lips


This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!
Hot Lips


Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform.
Col. Blake


Alright men, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice!
Col. Blake


How do ya like them apples, Charlie?
Col. Blake


Hawkeye? Duke say you better haul ass home quick. We got new chest cutter in our tent.
Ho-Jon


Attention. Captain Banning - er, Captain Bandini. Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral pop-- a popli-- a p-- a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery expli - exp - - exploration and possible graft.
P.A. Announcement


Painless is a dentist, and a dentist shouldn't read. That's his whole problem.
Capt. Murrhardt


Something in a marshmallow?
Capt. Bandini


Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it / if I please
Cpl. Judson