Quotes from the Movie MASH

Who am I? I am the pro from Dover, and this is my favorite caddy.

Hawkeye

It's a good thing you have a nice body, nurse, otherwise they'd get rid of you quick.

Trapper John

No. No food. Sex. I want sex. Bring me some sex. No, no, no, that one. Bring me that one over there. That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Take her clothes off! I want that one, yes. Take her clothes off and bring her to me now.

Trapper John

I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf.

Trapper John

Well, you know, Man o' War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had, on an average, uh about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals every year. And he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen.

Trapper John

Oh, now damn it, Henry. Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him, he says it's God's will or somebody else's fault.

Duke

Fair is fair, Henry. If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye, can I go home?

Duke

Take care of the squirrels.

Duke

If a man isn't a man anymore├ľ what's he got left that he should be living for?

Painless

I'm a fairy. A victim of latent homosexuality. I've turned into a fairy.

Painless

I like to think of the army as my home!

Hot Lips

Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!

Hot Lips

Oh, Frank, strangle me!

Hot Lips

This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!

Hot Lips

Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform.

Col. Blake

Quote of the Day

Social Media
Our Partners
Quote of the Day App
Android app on Google Play