This page contains quotes from the movie Major League. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Major League
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I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees.
Jake Taylor


Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You should be proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexie, I don't think this one's got the distance.
Jake Taylor


Second base... shit.
Jake Taylor


The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.
Willie Mays Hays


Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.
Willie Mays Hays


Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.
Willie Mays Hays


Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!
Willie Mays Hays


We should've got the live chicken.
Willie Mays Hays


In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.
Harry Doyle


Juuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.
Harry Doyle


Ball four...ball eight...and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on 12 consecutive pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close??
Harry Doyle


Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.
Harry Doyle


The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.
Harry Doyle


Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.
Harry Doyle


This guy threw at his own kid in a father/son game.
Harry Doyle


Well, you can close the book on Kellner. Thank God!
Harry Doyle


Forget about the curve ball Ricky, give him the heater.
Lou Brown


You may run like Mays. but you hit like shit.
Lou Brown


Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "ole" bullshit!
Lou Brown


How's your wife and my kids?
Heywood


Up your butt, Jobu.
Eddie Harris


Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.
Eddie Harris


Hats for bats, keep bats warm.
Pedro Cerrano