This page contains quotes from the movie Men in Black. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Men in Black
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Damn, what a gullible breed.
Agent K


A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.
Agent K


1500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
Agent K


Congratulations, Reg, it's a... squid.
Agent K


This is called a neuralizer. It's a gift from some friends from outta town.
Agent K


Put up your arms and all your flippers.
Agent K


I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of 100 memories I don't want.
Agent K


FREEZE! N-Y-P-D, FREEZE! 'Freeze' means 'stop'!
Agent J


You see this? Huh?! N-Y-P-D! Means I will kNock Your Punkass Down!
Agent J


It just be raining black people in New York.
Agent J


You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.
Agent J


I feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing!
Agent J


There's only one way off this planet, baby, and that's through me.
Agent J


When do I get my own little flashy memory messer upper thingy?
Agent J


We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.
Agent J


Oh, and hire a decorator to come in here quick, 'cause damn!
Agent J


Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise around in a Ford POS.
Agent J


Doctor... whatever, come here!
Agent J


We're rehearsing a ventriloquist act.
Agent J


Hey, old guys!
Agent J


Oh, I'm sorry. Was that your auntie? Then that must be your uncle, then, huh? Aw, you know you all look alike.
Agent J


This definitely rates a 9.0 on my Weird Shit-O-Meter.
Agent J


You just pissin' everybody off today, huh?
Agent J


Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training.
Zed


The twins keep us on Centaurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. In a few months, you'll get used to it. Or you'll have a psychotic episode.
Zed


We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.
Zed


YOU SORRY LITTLE INGRATES!!!
Zed


You'll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MIB Special Services. You'll conform only to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on, you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. You'll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You're a rumor, recognizable only as dĖj· vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don't exist, you were never even born. Anonymity is your name, silence your native tongue. You're no longer part of the System. You are above the System. Over it. Beyond it. We're 'them'. We're 'they'. We are the Men in Black.
Zed


A man came in here earlier. A dead man.
Edgar/The Bug


Listen here, monkey boy! Compared to you humans, I'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. So can it, all right?
Edgar/The Bug


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