This page contains quotes from the movie Miss Congeniality. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Miss Congeniality
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I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
Gracie Hart


Look, she's gonna cry again. 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'
Gracie Hart


I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
Victor Melling


There are no words.
Victor Melling


Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Victor Melling


If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.
Victor Melling


You old fruitcake! Victor: How dare you, you... cupcake!
Matthews


Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties!
Cheryl Rhode Island Frasier


Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.
Eric Matthews


I would so love to hurt you right now.
Gracie Hart


As long as you smile.
Victor Melling


What, no armored car?
Victor Melling


That would be in my other dress.
Gracie Hart


Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Kathy Morningside


I don't own a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
Stan Fields