Quotes from the Movie Mystery Men

"That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe."

Doctor Heller

"I can trick that out with a clam-shell holster. It comes with a leather carrying case. It's got a wadcutter and a full warranty."

Doctor Heller

"It's a psycho-frakulator! It creates a-a cloud of radically fluctuating deviant chaotrons, which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concantenated with a-a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary! It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is, is that hallucinations become reality... and the brain is literally fried from within."

Doctor Heller

"Wait you have a Herkimer battle jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!"

Doctor Heller

"Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase."

Doctor Heller

"You keep dreaming... wanna-be!"

Officer Maguire

"You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime. That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste. Because I want my teeth to look Amazing!"

Captain Amazing in TV commercial

"Baby, you shovel better than any man I've ever known... but that does not make you a superhero. You're a good husband, and a good father. Nothing more."

Lucille

"I believe in you, Daddy."

Roland

"I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft!"

Tony P

"P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?"

P.M.S. Avenger

"Okay, okay the Six Very Nearly Dead Guys With a Temporary Reprieve. That's it! That's your name!"

Tony P

"Kill ya later super-losers!"

Tony P

"This contraption is, in fact, a weapon of mass destruction. Casanova plans to turn it against the city at midnight."

Captain Amazing

"Flip the switch, lady. Don't stare at me, lift your left arm and flip it, you moron! You're a MORON! You're a MORON!"

Captain Amazing

"Just... be... Roy. Okay?"

Monica

"Dig this, Shovel Man!"

Tony C

"These belonged to your great-great grandmother. I was saving them for your wedding day, but from the looks of it, that day... it's probably a long way off."

Blue Raja's mother

"Jeffrey, are you on the marijuana?"

Blue Raja\\\'s mother

"You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler. 'Cause I'm protected by the god of hair care."

Tony P

"His name's Mr. Furious, and his power comes from his boundless rage."

Monica

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