Quotes from the Movie Napoleon Dynamite

I've been out making some sweet moola with Uncle Rico.

Kip

Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.

Kip

Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me salivate... Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever... I think you ripped my mole off!

Kip

I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

Rex

Bow to your sensei, BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!

Rex

Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!

Rex

At Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo! You need somebody watching your back AT ALL TIMES! Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?

Rex

Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it! Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

Rex

Just break the wrist, and then walk away. Break the wrist; walk away.

Rex

C'MERE, BOY!!

Rex

How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Uncle Rico

Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.

Uncle Rico

Back in '82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile.

Uncle Rico

Your grandma took a spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx!

Uncle Rico

Hey, you guys wanna see my video?

Uncle Rico

Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?

Uncle Rico

Man I wish I could go back in time... I'd take state.

Uncle Rico

Billowy's good.

Uncle Rico

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