Can you adios those dishes and take out that trash?
James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.
How did I look? Not bad, not bad at all. Well chosen briefs I must say. Chicks dig grey. Nice. Firm. Buttocks.
I'm sorry I am so late. Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. Millions down the drain.
Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I'm failing 100%. I absolutely and totally and utterly adore you and I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and more importantly I genuinely believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. What do YOU think?
Well, isn't this a good opportunity to... slip her one?
I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though.
Bugger this for a bunch of bananas.
Rita Hayworth used to say: "They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me"
Just going to the kitchen to get some food, then I'm going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins.
Well happiness wouldn't be happiness without a violin playing goat!
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Now what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile? Nice garden.
Any horse in that one? Or hounds for that matter; our readers are equally intrigued by both species.
"For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her." Some people do spend their whole lives together.
Hi. I'd just like to apologize for my friend, he's really sensitive. Don't worry about it! I'm sure it was harmless. I'm sure it just friendly banter. I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts! Enjoy your dinner, the tuna's really good.
It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again.
Actually, apart from the American, I've loved only two girls. The first one left me faster than you can say Indiana Jones, and the second one, who seriously ought to have known better, casually marries my best friend.
If I were to employ a wet rag would I have to pay it as much as I pay you?
Would you like something to eat? Something to nibble? Apricots, soaked in honey? Quite why, no one knows, because it stops them tasting like apricots and makes them taste like honey... and if you wanted honey, you could just... buy honey. Instead of apricots. But nevertheless they're yours if you want them.