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I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.
Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years.
It takes a man to give away an angel. You're sweet.
I know a really good sand guy.
Well, why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.
Blue do you understand i dont want you to die here tonight?
I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie? Touch my pa pa
Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
Don't worry. The pledges will clean it up.
No it's cool man, bring your green hat! We're going streaking!
Hey honey! Do you think KFC's still open?
In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds and pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski.
I like you man, but you're crazy
I'm back! You know it!
So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?
That's how you do it. That's how you debate.
All we are is dust in the wind...
Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank
Blue's over there. But he's wasted.
Actually we've got a nice little Saturday planned. We're going to Home Depot to pick out some wallpaper, then maybe we'll hit Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know! I don't know if we'll have enough time!
You know I was thinking we could go back home...have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD...no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.
What we need to do is throw a big kick off, kick ass party.
Because this is a very big idea my friends. We're talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood where community status and more importantly age have no bearing whatsoever.
I'm so cold...I think I see Blue! He looks glorious.
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Bhagavad GitaAnonymous Samuel Taylor Coleridge Abraham Lincoln William Shakespeare Ralph Waldo Emerson George Bernard Shaw Zig Ziglar Mahatma Gandhi |
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