Quotes from the Movie Role Models

I don't have crabs! What have you been telling these kids?


Hey nice cow outfit. Where can I pick one of those up at, the gay zoo? Homo.


No venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact tall is large and grande is spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.


I don't have crabs! What have you been telling these kids?


Why don't you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!

Gayle Sweeny

Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.

Augie Farks

Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.


I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Let's shape things up. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring...


I'm not here to service you, I'm here to service these young boys.

Gayle Sweeny

I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous!

Martin Gary

Hey baby. You're sexy like a chocolate strawberry.

Ronnie Shields

Keep your sword sharp, and your wits sharper!


I like to rock and roll all night, part of every day.

Danny Donahue

I used to be addicted to pills. Now, I'm addicted to helping.

Gayle Sweeney

Guilty as charged.

Martin Gary
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