Quotes from the Movie Shrek

Well, I have to save my ass.

Shrek

I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY?!

Shrek

I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, understand?! Nobody! Especially useless. Pathetic. Annoying. TALKING DONKEYS!!!

Shrek

Hold the phone. [said in a calm voice whenever Shrek is taken by surprise or is freaking out.]

Shrek

Oh, for the love of Pete!

Shrek

This is the part where you run away.

Shrek

That's right fool, now I'm a flying talking donkey! You mighta seen a house fly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!

Donkey

Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need a Tic Tac or something, 'cause yo' breath stinks!

Donkey

... and then I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eekin' outta my butt that day!

Donkey

You hear that? She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.

Donkey

Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns... This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!

Donkey

Alright, Shrek, no one likes a kiss-ass.

Donkey

This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories and in the morning, I'm making WAFFLES.

Donkey

You're so wrapped up in layers, Onion Boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!

Donkey

Parfait may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

Donkey

Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! Wait a minute, I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES!!! I think I need a hug...

Donkey

When I get out of here I'm going to need some serious therapy! Look at my eye twitchin'!

Donkey

Alright, nobody move! I have a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it!

Donkey

I'M A DONKEY ON THE EDGE!

Donkey

Don't die on me, Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!

Donkey

C'mon, princess, you're not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you're only like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7

Donkey

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