Well, I have to save my ass.
Shrek
I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY?!
Shrek
I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, understand?! Nobody! Especially useless. Pathetic. Annoying. TALKING DONKEYS!!!
Shrek
Hold the phone. [said in a calm voice whenever Shrek is taken by surprise or is freaking out.]
Shrek
Oh, for the love of Pete!
Shrek
This is the part where you run away.
Shrek
That's right fool, now I'm a flying talking donkey! You mighta seen a house fly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!
Donkey
Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need a Tic Tac or something, 'cause yo' breath stinks!
Donkey
... and then I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eekin' outta my butt that day!
Donkey
You hear that? She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
Donkey
Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns... This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!
Donkey
Alright, Shrek, no one likes a kiss-ass.
Donkey
This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories and in the morning, I'm making WAFFLES.
Donkey
You're so wrapped up in layers, Onion Boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!
Donkey
Parfait may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
Donkey