This page contains quotes from the movie Shrek. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Shrek
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Well, I have to save my ass.
Shrek


I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY?!
Shrek


I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, understand?! Nobody! Especially useless. Pathetic. Annoying. TALKING DONKEYS!!!
Shrek


Hold the phone. [said in a calm voice whenever Shrek is taken by surprise or is freaking out.]
Shrek


Oh, for the love of Pete!
Shrek


This is the part where you run away.
Shrek


That's right fool, now I'm a flying talking donkey! You mighta seen a house fly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!
Donkey


Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need a Tic Tac or something, 'cause yo' breath stinks!
Donkey


... and then I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eekin' outta my butt that day!
Donkey


You hear that? She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
Donkey


Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns... This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!
Donkey


Alright, Shrek, no one likes a kiss-ass.
Donkey


This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories and in the morning, I'm making WAFFLES.
Donkey


You're so wrapped up in layers, Onion Boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!
Donkey


Parfait may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
Donkey


Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! Wait a minute, I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES!!! I think I need a hug...
Donkey


When I get out of here I'm going to need some serious therapy! Look at my eye twitchin'!
Donkey


Alright, nobody move! I have a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it!
Donkey


I'M A DONKEY ON THE EDGE!
Donkey


Don't die on me, Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
Donkey


C'mon, princess, you're not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you're only like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7
Donkey