If you ain't first, you're last!
You people are in the wrong on this one! So in the wrong! This is egregious! You hear me? Egregious!
It's okay, I'm a volunteer fireman.
You don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher. She wants you to go slow, but it's the fastest who gets paid, and it's the fastest who gets laid.
You need to learn to drive with the fear, and there ain't nothin' more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.
Close the door and come in. I got weed in here, cowboy.
Hey, son? Son! Did this go good?
Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-lookin' bike, boy!
Whoa! I gotta lay off the peyote.
You got hair on your peaches or what?
Dad, you made that grace your bitch.
I like to think of Jesus like a ninja, fightin' off evil samurai.
You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you?
I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger?
Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Aww Nana, not my prison shank.
You look old, Granny, are you gonna die today?
Sorry, Lucius, but it's a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend.
Peaches and cream!
It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends!
Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used to bring together the knights of the roundtable, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen [whispering] in the biblical sense.
Here, we'll use this knife to pry the other one out! Kristen eats knives for breakfast!
Just remember this, Ricky: you wreck that car, that's $200,000 out of your pocket!