Quotes from the Movie Talladega Nights

My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to create a bed and breakfast in a volcano.

From deleted scenes

My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet.

From unrated version

Where are you, "Reecky Booby"? Come face your destroyer! "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. I sound like a massive prick!

From unrated version

I'm a veteran! And a diabetic! Applebee's has rats! I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad!

Reese Bobby

You shut up, you little potlicker, I'll put you in a microwave!

Reese Bobby

If you ain't first, you're last!

Reese Bobby

You people are in the wrong on this one! So in the wrong! This is egregious! You hear me? Egregious!

Reese Bobby

It's okay, I'm a volunteer fireman.

Reese Bobby

You don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher. She wants you to go slow, but it's the fastest who gets paid, and it's the fastest who gets laid.

Reese Bobby

You need to learn to drive with the fear, and there ain't nothin' more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.

Reese Bobby

Close the door and come in. I got weed in here, cowboy.

Reese Bobby

Hey, son? Son! Did this go good?

Reese Bobby

Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-lookin' bike, boy!

Reese Bobby

Whoa! I gotta lay off the peyote.

Reese Bobby

You got hair on your peaches or what?

Reese Bobby

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