Momma, I'm goin' fast!
98 percent of us will die at some point in our lives.
Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it!
Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!
I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I'm here to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.
I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles wings and singiní lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and Iím in the front row, and Iím hammered drunkÖ
Now, I've got a message for all the other drivers out there. If you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race, it's not your tailpipe. It's just a little of Shake...and Bake!
Shake and Bake!
Shake it! Before you Bake it!
Hold on a second, Mr. Fancy-Pants Foreigner. You just broke my bro's arm. Now you're gonna get tasered. Say hello to Dr. Watts!
We missed you at the wedding. It was really classy. We had a Styx cover band, and a nacho fountain. Check it, it was a nacho fountain.
There's somethin' I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread, man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. It was weird, I... I mean, you probably didn't hear about it 'cause I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow, that I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.
Damn you, Wavecrest!
I like to think of Jesus like a ninja fighting off evil samurai.
I like to think of Jesus like a muscular trapeze artist.
I like to think of Jesus like a dirty old bum. He's comin' up to me, and I'm 'bout to sock him, cause, you know, he's a dirty old bum, but then I say, "Wait a minute, there's something... I don't know, special about this guy."
We go together like Easter mornin' and Lyme Disease.
We go together like suits of armor and electrical storms.
I'm just sayin' we click, you know? We're like skateboardin' and freeway ramps.
We go together like pigs and swimmin'.
We go together like tuna fish and cigarettes.
We go together like campin' trips and head lice.
We go together like square dancin' and handguns. Right?
Don't make me bring the darkness.