Quotes from the Movie Talladega Nights

Dad, you made that grace your bitch.

Reese Bobby

I like to think of Jesus like a ninja, fightin' off evil samurai.

Reese Bobby

You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you?

Reese Bobby

I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!

Texas Ranger Bobby

Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger?

Texas Ranger Bobby

Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!

Texas Ranger Bobby

Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Texas Ranger Bobby

Aww Nana, not my prison shank.

Texas Ranger Bobby

You look old, Granny, are you gonna die today?

From deleted scenes

Sorry, Lucius, but it's a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend.

Glenn

Peaches and cream!

Glenn

It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends!

Glenn

Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used to bring together the knights of the roundtable, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen [whispering] in the biblical sense.

Glenn

Here, we'll use this knife to pry the other one out! Kristen eats knives for breakfast!

Lucius

Just remember this, Ricky: you wreck that car, that's $200,000 out of your pocket!

Lucius

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