Quotes from the Movie Talladega Nights

Momma, I'm goin' fast!

trailer

98 percent of us will die at some point in our lives.

outtakes

Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it!

outtakes

Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I'm here to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.

Cal Naughton, Jr.

I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles wings and singiní lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and Iím in the front row, and Iím hammered drunkÖ

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Now, I've got a message for all the other drivers out there. If you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race, it's not your tailpipe. It's just a little of Shake...and Bake!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Shake and Bake!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Shake it! Before you Bake it!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Hold on a second, Mr. Fancy-Pants Foreigner. You just broke my bro's arm. Now you're gonna get tasered. Say hello to Dr. Watts!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

We missed you at the wedding. It was really classy. We had a Styx cover band, and a nacho fountain. Check it, it was a nacho fountain.

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Abracadabra, homes.

Cal Naughton, Jr.

There's somethin' I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread, man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. It was weird, I... I mean, you probably didn't hear about it 'cause I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow, that I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Damn you, Wavecrest!

Cal Naughton, Jr.

I like to think of Jesus like a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

From outtakes

I like to think of Jesus like a muscular trapeze artist.

From outtakes

I like to think of Jesus like a dirty old bum. He's comin' up to me, and I'm 'bout to sock him, cause, you know, he's a dirty old bum, but then I say, "Wait a minute, there's something... I don't know, special about this guy."

From outtakes

We go together like Easter mornin' and Lyme Disease.

From deleted scenes

We go together like suits of armor and electrical storms.

From deleted scenes

I'm just sayin' we click, you know? We're like skateboardin' and freeway ramps.

From deleted scenes

We go together like pigs and swimmin'.

From deleted scenes

We go together like tuna fish and cigarettes.

From deleted scenes

We go together like campin' trips and head lice.

From deleted scenes

We go together like square dancin' and handguns. Right?

From deleted scenes

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