This page contains quotes from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin
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Iím a virgin. I always have been.
Andy


I've borked tons of women.
Andy


Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?
Andy


I hope you have a big trunk, 'cause I'm puttin' my bike in it.
Andy


Me so horny. Me love you long time.
Andy


And now I am going to make your silver pants blue.
Andy


You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!
Andy


There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.
Andy


You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
Andy


Is this that movie about babies that are geniuses?
Andy


That's a mentos. They're the freshmaker.
Andy


Hey, enjoy that orange.
Andy


Yup. She was a ho. For sho.
Andy


By the way I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a FLOOR MANAGER!
Andy


You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rockin' the shit in this one!
David


If I have to hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm gonna "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
David


No... uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy!
David


My Uncle Used to Drive a Hoe Runner.
David


Know how i know you're gay? Because you like Asia.
David


I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?
David


Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern.
David


I wanna take you to Paris and make love to you under the Eiffel Tower.
David


Ya know, that's okay with me. If she wants to go around and be a little bitch and blow everybody that's fine with me.
David


And this is...this is Everybody loves Raymond...This...I...This probably shouldn't be in here...This is a good show though, I just tape this sometimes.
David


He's a really nice guy and all but I'm pretty sure that he is a serial murderer.
Cal


I'll tell you who's the hottest. Now you're gonna think I'm crazy when I tell you this; Gina. I can't get Gina outta' my head. I'm gonna be thinking of Gina all week.
Cal


I hired a 90-Ib girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-Ib guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.
Cal


I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew School once.
Cal


Leave my torso alone at least!
Cal


Screw these analogies, okay? What he's saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you "do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it.[pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.
Cal


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