I'll tell you who's the hottest. Now you're gonna think I'm crazy when I tell you this; Gina. I can't get Gina outta' my head. I'm gonna be thinking of Gina all week.
I hired a 90-Ib girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-Ib guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.
I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew School once.
Leave my torso alone at least!
Screw these analogies, okay? What he's saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you "do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it.[pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.
There are three rules when it comes talking to women. Number 1 ask questions, don't say anything, because,women,all they wanna do is talk about themselves so you're just gonna let them do that. 2 be cool and 3 be kind of a dick. Look be like David Caruso in "Jade".
You know how I know you're gay? I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour-dough bread once.
All you gotta do is to use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows how to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's code written in their DNA, says "Tackle the gazelle." Believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says "Tackle drunk bitches."
You're puttin' the pussy on the pedastal.
Look, you're about to cram like...10 years of pimpage into one day. Partner after that....you're on my level.
Baby, I'm Dr. Montalbaun.
Andy it's goin down partner. We're gonna be This is for you partner, this is for you. Waves of them comin' at you on Friday, Saturday. By Sunday yo nuts gone be drained!
He's performing a public colonscopy. Isn't that sweet?
Dude, teach me!
Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.
So tell me Montel why were'nt we invited to the party? What are we, Al Qaeda?
Everybody's dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV.
That boy need to get *laid*!
Today's forecast? Dark and cloudy, and chance of drive-by.