Quotes from the Movie The Chumscrubber

I live in a city, but in an apartment high above the cloud left by the blast. I'm one of the lucky ones. One morning, I awoke to find my head was no longer attached to my body. I'm not dead, but who could call this a life? So I do what I can, in this city of freaks and subhuman creatures. I became... The Chumscrubber.

The Chumscrubber

It's for school.

Various Teens

I read this statistic once, that the average kid sees somethng like 10,000 dead bodies on TV before he turns 18.

Dean Stiffle

Will somebody pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE!

Dean Stiffle

I just thought you should know that, in no way whatsoever, do I blame you for Troy's death.

Mrs. Johnson

I live in a city, but in an apartment high above the cloud left by the blast. I'm one of the lucky ones. One morning, I awoke to find my head was no longer attached to my body. I'm not dead, but who could call this a life? So I do what I can, in this city of freaks and subhuman creatures. I became... The Chumscrubber.

The Chumscrubber

Don't pretend you're someone you're not, because after a while you forget you were acting, and so will everyone else.

Crystal Falls

Look, I just wanted to apologize for what happened back there.

Crystal Falls

You know, if I ate that everyday, I would get a big fat ass.

Crystal Falls

Yeah, Charlie nailed me all night long. It was unreal.

Crystal Falls

I probably would have ended up with a football player if I hadn't met you. And I'm not gonna lie - you've really kept it interesting, but I'm done.

Crystal Falls

It's for school.

Various Teens

I read this statistic once, that the average kid sees somethng like 10,000 dead bodies on TV before he turns 18.

Dean Stiffle

Can/Will somebody pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE!

Dean Stiffle

What do you want?

Dean Stiffle

What are you talking about, man? Who?

Dean Stiffle

Why did you kidnap my brother?

Dean Stiffle

I all ready told you...

Dean Stiffle

Fine. Kill him.

Dean Stiffle

I feel that it must have been unfulfilling for him.

Dean Stiffle

Dad, if you write about me again in another one of your stupid books, I'm going to kill you.

Dean Stiffle

You know, there are several major book chains that would be willing to disagree with you on that point.

Dean Stiffle

Try wanted to play guitar in a rock band -be famous- but he knew he wasn't any good and he felt stupid for wishing that. He had a crush on this girl since he was 13, that he'd never talked to. But he probably wished he would've. He liked you, but he felt sorry for you. He was afraid he'd be like his dad. He was really, really smart, but he kept all his ideas to himself, unless you asked. He took great pictures of people without them even knowing. I miss him, you know? He was my friend. He was my best friend. And I hate myself that I didn't even know he was about to do this.

Dean Stiffle

I just thought you should know that, in no way whatsoever, do I blame you for Troy's death.

Mrs. Johnson

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