Quotes from the Movie The Goodbye Girl

I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed.

Elliot Garfield

I will bring home anyone or anything I chose including a one-eyed Episcopalian Kangaroo if that happens to be kinky inclination.

Elliot Garfield

If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face.

Elliot Garfield

"It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splended Wicked Witch of the North." Tacky. Tacky. Well, if they're gonna kill me. Let 'em kill me with panache.

Elliot Garfield

My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want this kind of performance? Let me play Lady Anne.

Elliot Garfield

What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?

Elliot Garfield

You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best half-a-face I ever saw!"

Elliot Garfield

You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate.

Elliot Garfield

You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know.

Elliot Garfield

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