Quotes from the Movie The Princess Bride

Reaction to Vizzini's description of "handling it your way".

Fezzik

Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Shrieking Eels if you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh. If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Eels.

Vizzini

There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

Vizzini

I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Vizzini

Ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?...Morons.

Vizzini

When his head comes into view, HIT IT WITH THE ROCK!!!

Vizzini

Vizzini's description of "handling it your way".

Vizzini

Inconceivable!

Vizzini

My people ... a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves but perhaps you will not find her common now.

Prince Humperdinck

Addressing his people, referring to Princess Buttercup

Prince Humperdinck

I always think everything could be a trap which is why I'm still alive.

Prince Humperdinck

Iocane! I'd bet my life on it. And there are the Princess's footprints. She is alive ... or was, an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.

Prince Humperdinck

Disappeared. He must have seen us closing in, which might account for his panicking in error. Unless I am wrong, and I am never wrong, they are headed dead into the Fire Swamp.

Prince Humperdinck

You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.

Prince Humperdinck

I knew he was bluffing.

Prince Humperdinck

After he has fallen for the bluff and been tied to a chair.

Prince Humperdinck

Beautiful, isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. At present I'm writing the definitive work on the subject. So I want you to be totally honest with me on how The Machine makes you feel.

Count Rugen

As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest -- how do you feel?

Count Rugen

You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I ever heard. How marvelous.

Count Rugen

Good heavens, are you still trying to win? You've got an over-developed sense of vengeance. It's going to get you in trouble some day.

Count Rugen

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you."

Grandpa

Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.

Grandpa

In my day, "television" was called "books".

Grandpa

Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

Grandpa

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