I'm pretty sure there's more to life than being really, really good looking, and I plan on finding out what that is.
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
I'm not an ambi-turner.
I think I'm geting the black lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.
But why male models?
Who am I? I don't know.
Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.
There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."
Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?...
Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful, I think.
If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.
I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
Mer-man! *keh... keh... keh...* MER-MAN!
What is this, a center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building? The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
Words can only hurt you if you try to read them. Don't play their game.
Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!
I invented the piano key neck tie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing! YOU'VE GOT NOTHING!!! N O T H I N G ! ! !