This page contains quotes from the movie Zoolander. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Zoolander
 1
Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus. I'm just a regular kid and want you to know the real truth about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why, back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!
Mugatu


Obey my dog!
Mugatu


I'm a hot little potato right now!
Mugatu


It's that damn Hansel. He's so hot right now!
Mugatu


They're break-dance fighting.
Mugatu


Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
Mugatu


Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
Mugatu


You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything.
Mugatu


He's absolutely right.
Mugatu


I friggin' worship you, man.
Hansel


I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
Hansel


Taste my pain, bitch!
Hansel


What's the dealio, yo?
Hansel


You is talking loco and I like it!
Hansel


They're in the computer?
Hansel


We've got thirty years worth of files, right here in this computer, they're gonna bring you down!! Where'd all the files go?
Hansel


I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
Hansel


Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, Ese? Don't you know I'm loco?
Hansel


The results are in amigo. What's left to ponder? Nice Comeback!
Hansel


Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude.
Hansel


I hear words like "handsomeness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity that I don't buy into.
Hansel


Deal with that!
Hansel


I think we should all get naked.
Hansel


Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit.
Hansel


Well, you can Dere-lick my balls, capitan.
Hansel