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~ There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit ~ ~ A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings ~ ~ I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game. It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism. Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set. Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us ~ ~ Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living ~ ~ With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them ~ ~ That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em ~ ~ Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. ~ ~ Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~ ~ Say this much for big league baseball - it is beyond question the greatest conversation piece ever invented in America ~ ~ Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. ~ ~ Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated ~ ~ It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has increased greatly since the ballplayers swapped those wonderful old-time baggy flannel uniforms for leotards. ~ ~ Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem ~ ~ A baseball fan has the digestive apparatus of a billy goat. He can, and does, devour any set of diamond statistics with insatiable appetite and then nuzzles hungrily for more ~ ~ A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves ~ ~ Baseball is not necessarily an obsessive-compulsive disorder, like washing your hands 100 times a day, but it's beginning to seem that way. We're reaching the point where you can be a truly dedicated, state-of-the-art fan or you can have a life. Take your pick ~ ~ The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love ~ ~ Baseball fans love numbers. They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine ~ ~ More than any other American sport, baseball creates the magnetic, addictive illusion that it can almost be understood. ~ ~ I don't love baseball. I don't love most of today's players. I don't love the owners. I do love, however, the baseball that is in the heads of baseball fans. I love the dreams of glory of 10-year-olds, the reminiscences of 70-year-olds. The greatest baseball arena is in our heads, what we bring to the games, to the telecasts, to reading newspaper reports. ~ ~ Basketball, hockey and track meets are action heaped upon action, climax upon climax, until the onlooker's responses become deadened. Baseball is for the leisurely afternoons of summer and for the unchanging dreams ~ ~ Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up ~ ~ Though I like the various forms of football in the world, I don't think they begin to compare with these two great Anglo-Saxon ball games for sophisticated elegance and symbolism. Baseball and cricket are beautiful and highly stylized medieval war substitutes, chess made flesh, a mixture of proud chivalry and base - in both senses - greed. With football we are back to the monotonous clashing armor of the brontosaurus. ~ ~ The great thing about baseball is that there's a crisis every day. ~ ~ The place was always cold, and I got the feeling that the fans would have enjoyed baseball more if it had been played with a hockey puck ~ ~ A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time ~ ~ Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. ~ ~ Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead ~ ~ What we have are good gray ballplayers, playing a good gray game and reading the good gray Wall Street Journal. They have been brainwashed, dry-cleaned and dehydrated!... Wake up the echoes at the Hall of Fame and you will find that baseball's immortals were a rowdy and raucous group of men who would climb down off their plaques and go rampaging through Cooperstown, taking spoils.... Deplore it if you will, but Grover Cleveland Alexander drunk was a better pitcher than Grover Cleveland Alexander sober ~ ~ Reading about baseball is a lot more interesting than reading about chess, but you have to wonder: Don't any of these guys ever go fishing? ~ |
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