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~ The only reason I played golf was so that I could afford to go hunting and fishing ~ ~ There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid. ~ ~ You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun ~ ~ Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you? ~ ~ I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course ~ ~ We tournament golfers are much overrated. We get paid to much ~ ~ Many men are more faithful to their golf partners than to their wives and have stuck with them longer. ~ ~ A gimme can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers neither of whom can putt very well ~ ~ Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose ~ ~ I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper ~ ~ Show me a man who plays a good game of golf and I'll show you a man who is neglecting something - John F Kennedy ~ ~ The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you've done it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can't do this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a fluke ~ |
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