Funny quotes Quotes

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get

Arnold Palmer

It is not funny that anything else should fall down, only that a man should fall down ... Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Now you know that your headmistress, Miss Davis, was going to come in here and just check that you were all going to be well behaved. She cant do that because, as many of you probably know, she cant be here today, er, because her pants fell down earlier on. Its not funny. If any of you see her, dont make a fuss because its a bit embarrassing for her, OK? Alright? Its not funny.

Derren Victor Brown

So what I tend to do is to think of today as the past. Its funny when you comin in first but you hope that you last.. You just hope that it lasts.


A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Jack Handey

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Thomas Edward Brown

Jazz is not dead - it just smells funny

Frank Zappa

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

Stephen Colbert

Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?

Phil Silvers

Ethical dilemmas have a way of sneaking up on a person. If something smells funny, stay away from it. Or help get rid of it.

Price Pritchett

I have to say that I dont find South Park very funny. Its not the politics. I always saw it as stoner animation and it just left me cold.

Ted Rall

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Jean Baudrillard

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

William Arthur Ward

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.

Elaine Agather

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

David Ogilvy

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