The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing
I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters
The right way to play golf is to go up and hit the bloody thing
Every rock'n'roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf now
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of self expression. In America we call it golf
Golf is like marbles for adults
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron
The hardest shot in golf? The next one
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name... and they say golf is a quiet game
Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole. Always
remember: Golf clubs don't float
time and then move on. Remember that golf is just a game
Golf is a game of precision, not strength
Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer...
Golf is not and never has been a fair game.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of..
new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball...
liars out of the American people than golf
I do not let a bad score ruin my enjoyment for golf.
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.