Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie
Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of the most misses. The people who win make the smallest mistakes
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball
I like trying to win. That's what golf is all about.
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President
Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf-it's almost a law
Golf, more than most games, has a number of cliches, often successfully disguised as "tips"
Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf
When you fall in love with golf, you seldom fall easy. It's obsession at first sight
Golf: A game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of youth
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind
Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other
Golf is typical capitalist lunacy
Golf always makes me so damned angry
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose
No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfer's mind
All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse