I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball
Golf is tiddlywinks played while standing up and and wearing a hat
When Tiger was 6 months old, he would sit in our garage, watching me hit balls into a net. He had been assimilating his golf swing. When he got out of the high chair, he had a golf swing
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced
Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill soured by a whiff of arrogance
President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes
Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it
Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them
Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends. Can Larry Holmes enjoy fighting one of his friends?
There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course
Many men are more faithful to their golf partners than to their wives and have stuck with them longer.
I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper
Show me a man who plays a good game of golf and I'll show you a man who is neglecting something - John F Kennedy
The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you've done it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can't do this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a fluke
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron
Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at
The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you?
Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer
Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it.