golf Quotes

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Jim Bishop

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron

Lee Trevino

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

John Updike

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken.

Raymond Floyd

I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.

Brent Musburger

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass

Bob Hope

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

Michael Green

In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.

Ken Harrelson

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

Miller Barber and Lee Trevino

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Joey Adams

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles

G.K. Chesterton

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick

P.J. O'Rourke

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

William Wordsworth

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death

Sam Snead

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies

Will Rogers

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.

Gardner Dickinson

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is

Horace G. Hutchinson

It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.

Bruce McCall

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

Paul Gallico

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.

Ted Ray

Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.

Arthur Daley

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.

Bobby Jones

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.

Arnold Palmer
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