Finally, never become a hypocrite by attacking other people personally if you wish to be able to protect yourself.
Although I'm proposing these two rules to strengthen your ability to deal with backstabbing,you're still going to have to protect yourself - you don't want to get stabbed in the front for your troubles.
If you are protecting yourself against a backstabbing co-worker or underling that is another matter. No one should feel bad about staying alive when under direct attack.
I know of one man who spent his best energies backstabbing.
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Trust is the key to happiness and the door to heartbreak. To be fully human and engaged in the world we must open ourselves up to others. We give a part of ourselves to every person we become intimate with. We take on a part of others, as well. This piece of ourselves never comes back. It is for the person who holds it to treasure and protect. It is also for them to change the character of that fragment, to devalue it, to reject it. We have all experienced this. Trust turns into pain as we are stabbed in the back by someone close to us. Or we are the betrayer; we choose to turn our back on friendship and seek our own gain at their expense. Yet even after betrayal, we hold that fragment still. That piece will stay with us, and shape us. Betrayer and betrayed alike. |

