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~ Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. ~
~ Canada is an interesting place, the rest of the world thinks so, even if Canadians don't. ~
~ Canada is the linchpin of the English-speaking world. ~
~ Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. ~
~ Canadian nationalism is a subtle, easily misunderstood but powerful reality, expressed in a way that is not to state directed - something like a beer commercial or the death of a significant Canadian figure. ~
~ If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. ~
~ Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall. ~
~ The Canadian spirit is cautious, observant and critical where the American is assertive. ~
~ The Canadian dialect of English . . . seems roughly to be the result of applying British syntax to an American vocabulary. ~
~ Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States. ~
~ America's attic. ~
~ Canada has never been a melting-pot; more like a tossed salad. ~
~ Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women. ~
~ Canada's national bird is the grouse. ~
~ Canadians are generally indistinguishable from Americans, and the surest way of telling the two apart is to make the observation to a Canadian. ~
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