Funny quotes Quotes

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

Ellery Queen

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

P. J. O\'Rourke

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.

Alexai Sayle

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

Oscar Wilde

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote in a national election

Bill Vaughn

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work ask him, 'Whose?'

Don Marquis

You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.

Cindy Crawford

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Drew Carey

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Will Shriner

God's last name is not "Dammit."

Unknown

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off

Ralph Bus

The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime

Shannon Fife

One of the best lessons children learn through video games is standing still will get them killed quicker than anything else

Jinx Milea

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