Funny quotes Quotes

My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.

Chic Murray

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

Proverb

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.

Gil Stern

Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job.

Jay Leno

The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week.

Robert Frost

Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.

Chinese Proverb

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

Patrick Murray

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

Robert Brault

Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back.

Unknown

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence

Hebrew Proverb

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'

Sam Ewing

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

P. J. O'Rourke

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.

Alexai Sayle

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

Oscar Wilde

The Power Of Failure: We Get To Decide What It Means

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Updated On : February 20, 2014
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