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Golf Quotations
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~ There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing? ~


~ The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law ~


~ The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. ~


~ One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. ~


~ I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play. ~


~ A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. ~


~ Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. ~


~ One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good. ~


~ Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ~


~ "After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying ~


~ When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It's left my memory circuits full of scars that won't heal ~


~ Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists ~


~ His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. ~


~ John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him. ~


~ If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf ~


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